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The 12 Steps of Intimacy: The Secret to As Many Lucrative Long-Term Relationships with Your Customers As You Want

Photo by SCY

Photo by Hans Braxmeier

“To win a customer’s money, you must first win their time.” – Roy H. Williams

Did you know that are actually 4 types of currency driving our businesses today?

No I’m not talking about the dollar, the pound, the yen and the euro.

According to Michael Drew, when it comes to business, the currencies we exchange with our customers are time, information, energy and money.

The key is to understand which of these currencies comes into play during each stage of a new business relationship.

That’s why Michael developed a framework called The 12 Steps of Intimacy which he’ll be sharing with us during the Online Business Superhero Summit (July 7-18).

“The 12 Steps of Intimacy” is based on the work of Desmond Morris, a clinical researcher and psychiatrist from the 1960s, who discovered that for any relationship to survive and become long-term, it had to progress through 12 distinct steps of increasing intimacy.

In other words, you can’t just hop in the sack with someone on date #1 and expect them to become your partner for life.

In the same way, Michael says that “our customers know when our objective as business owners is to simply get into their pants or, in this case, pull out their wallets.”

If you want to build long-term relationships with your customers, then you have to be authentic, develop intimacy one step at a time, and respect them through the process of developing trust before asking for anything – especially a sale.

For Michael, when it comes to the world of online business, that process usually begins with time and information.

That flies in the face of what most online marketing gurus tell you – which is to go straight for the opt-in or even straight for the sale.

“One of the biggest mistakes of weakness that most direct marketers and internet marketers make is asking for an opt-in from their customers too early.

It would be like going from flirting with a woman from across the room and going out and kissing her. I don’t have the intimacy or permission to do that.

That will likely get me smacked and if it didn’t get me smacked, it would communicate to me that that woman was interested in a transaction.”

And here’s the thing, quick transactions almost never end up in long-term relationships. According to clinical researchers and psychiatrists, only five percent of couples who skip more than one of twelve steps end up in long term relationships.

The same goes for business:

“Here’s the bottom line. From a business standpoint, you can either be a transaction-based business or a relationship-based business.

That doesn’t mean that transaction doesn’t happen in a relationship-based business but the goal, the objective is to build a relationship.”

If you’re in a business where you need to build a relationship with your audience, then register now for the Online Business Superhero Summit (it’s free).

Michael will be presenting his 12 Steps of Intimacy on Thursday, July 17th @ 12pm Pacific.


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About the Author Marisa Murgatroyd

Marisa is the founder of Live Your Message, where she turns entrepreneurs into Online Superheroes, and the creator of Start With You where she helps people just like you to discover the business they're meant to build, not just the business they can build. At 4’11 and a quarter, she’s called the shortest woman in marketing — and that doesn’t stop her from having huge ideas. She’s the “go to” brand builder for industry luminaries and heavyweights such as Justin Livingston, Callan Rush, Danny Iny, Alexis Neely and Susan Peirce Thompson. Marisa helps entrepreneurs create a business that is authentic and aligned with who they are, to empower them to turn up the dial on their “inner superhero”, so they can be the superhero to their tribe, as well as in their own lives.

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